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Power Of Beauty

Here’s something to think about, from you to me.

Ever remember a moment where somebody made you feel special or good?

Ever stop to think about how that could change somebody’s moment/day/week/month/year/life?

One of the most vivid moments of my life, and what actually lead me to my career as a Cosmetologist, is a moment like that.

Just somebody telling me they liked my eyeliner. Somebody telling me my eyes popped and that they are GORGEOUS. 

That was the first time I wore any sort of cosmetic AND wore it to school.

In middle school, nobody ever called me nice names. And I am pretty confident with that fact. I had deep emotional scars from bullying in middle school, all because I also had a real boyish look going on.

That moment, I actually remember out of the sea of horrible lonely moments. 

Moments where I believed them. Moments where I thought I was ugly, boyish, manly, not good enough.

When that girl told me my eyes popped, it was like she gave me one golden sparkly beautiful scale on my canvas of dull fish scales. 

It made me feel good. Good on the inside, something actually more positive about myself. 

However, as the years passed, I wore my makeup.

Most of my basic skills with makeup is all self taught. My mother never even sat down and told me the purpose of a lot of the shit in her makeup bag. At one time I remember I didn’t even KNOW WHAT EYELINER IS.

That’s crazy. I used to know practically nothing about cosmetics.

Now, as displayed in the photo below, this is how I look now with my typical everyday load of cosmetics on my face. Not bad, eh?

I usually do the glamorous cat eye look with my eyeliner, drawn out dramatically and about as flawless as I can. Practice DOES make perfect.

So if you’re struggling, or discouraged all because of failure or you think you’re not good enough, just stop.

Stop, just breathe. You can actually do this.

Whatever it is you’re doing, you can do it. Just calmly begin and walk yourself through the steps. Get those voices in your head silent. 

Fucking silent, because negativity has no place with your success and beauty.

You’re good enough. Your soul is fucking beautiful.

Let your potential pour through. 

You did it. I knew you could.

I love you, you’re fucking amazing. 

Hugs for days.

That is why I joined the industry of Cosmetology. I want people to realize their worth. Their souls are beautiful. Don’t let anything else stop you from seeing it.

I’m having a tough moment.

I actually had a good day so far. I did pretty much everything I said I was going to do. I did enough work in school, I stayed off of Facebook, I actually talked to some people in school, and I woke up smiling with a positive mood.

So what’s wrong now? Is it bad that I get sad? Not really, I think it’s okay for someone to be allowed to be sad or shed a tear for a couple minutes. I’m just not letting this reoccurring depressive mood halt or hinder my life.

I want to propel into something great, something or somewhere different from what I am/doing now. 

It’s just also that I want to be alone. I want to see nobody, lay in some bed, and do nothing. Relax, be by myself.

Perhaps this is my stupid Virgo side wanting to be an introvert. Perhaps this is me trying to heal myself. I often go through the most lifechanging mental breakthroughs in my head when I am alone. Maybe this is just part of my nature, since in the back of my head my voice might be trying to tell me I don’t need anyone.

In reality however I do want someone and their love. And, I have that in my boyfriend. He just isn’t giving it to me in the ways that I want. Which is understandable, because we are trying to work our relationship out.

And shit like that doesn’t happen overnight, if you want it to be strong.

I don’t know. I’m on this planet to give love fully, experience all of my emotions fully, and to just experience everything. So when somebody doesn’t return that to me in ways I want, or give me instant gratification like I am used to from him, it pisses me off in a personal way.

But I am trying to work on that. To stop being so girlish and childish. It only makes sense however that I react that way, because I view it as me giving him my love, which is personal to me, and he doesn’t do the same. So I wonder why, and it hurts.

I know why, and it hurts me more. So in the back of my head I remember in ways I do deserve it. I got to think long term instead of short term. 

In all reality I just want somebody who remembers all the stupid sentimental shit with me, has private jokes with me that we can’t even begin to count or even remember them all, treats me how I treat them…

At least I know what I want. That’s a start.

I just feel alone. 

vermilliontrigger:

zingey:

ruf1oh-n1tram:

Remember that episode of courage the cowardly dog where a furry bunny runs away from abusive dog dude to be with her lesbian cat lover
because that is all you need to remember

This episode is actually what got Courage taken off the air because a coalition of moms thought it carried lesbian symbolism and they threatened to sue the network if the show wasn’t removed from the air.
Many people at Cartoon Network cite Courage as their favourite show during its run and say that they would not have taken it off, had they had a real choice.
So the show ran the remaining episodes and was not renewed for another season.

… Are you fucking kidding me?!Really… REALLY? THIS was why they canceled Courage? Look, I’m tolerant of any belief, but anyone who would bitch about this episode can go fucking die for all I care.
They do realize that she left a fucking abusive relationship, which takes a fucking hell of a lot of effort, to be happy. The moral of the fucking story is to be happy, and to know your worth. It’s not about a fucking lesbian love scene you fucking worthless trash, it’s about telling little girls that they CAN ESCAPE an abusive relationship.
For fucks sakes, I’ve never been so anti-biggot in my life until right now.

I love all of these comments so much.
vermilliontrigger:

zingey:

ruf1oh-n1tram:

Remember that episode of courage the cowardly dog where a furry bunny runs away from abusive dog dude to be with her lesbian cat lover
because that is all you need to remember

This episode is actually what got Courage taken off the air because a coalition of moms thought it carried lesbian symbolism and they threatened to sue the network if the show wasn’t removed from the air.
Many people at Cartoon Network cite Courage as their favourite show during its run and say that they would not have taken it off, had they had a real choice.
So the show ran the remaining episodes and was not renewed for another season.

… Are you fucking kidding me?!Really… REALLY? THIS was why they canceled Courage? Look, I’m tolerant of any belief, but anyone who would bitch about this episode can go fucking die for all I care.
They do realize that she left a fucking abusive relationship, which takes a fucking hell of a lot of effort, to be happy. The moral of the fucking story is to be happy, and to know your worth. It’s not about a fucking lesbian love scene you fucking worthless trash, it’s about telling little girls that they CAN ESCAPE an abusive relationship.
For fucks sakes, I’ve never been so anti-biggot in my life until right now.

I love all of these comments so much.
vermilliontrigger:

zingey:

ruf1oh-n1tram:

Remember that episode of courage the cowardly dog where a furry bunny runs away from abusive dog dude to be with her lesbian cat lover
because that is all you need to remember

This episode is actually what got Courage taken off the air because a coalition of moms thought it carried lesbian symbolism and they threatened to sue the network if the show wasn’t removed from the air.
Many people at Cartoon Network cite Courage as their favourite show during its run and say that they would not have taken it off, had they had a real choice.
So the show ran the remaining episodes and was not renewed for another season.

… Are you fucking kidding me?!Really… REALLY? THIS was why they canceled Courage? Look, I’m tolerant of any belief, but anyone who would bitch about this episode can go fucking die for all I care.
They do realize that she left a fucking abusive relationship, which takes a fucking hell of a lot of effort, to be happy. The moral of the fucking story is to be happy, and to know your worth. It’s not about a fucking lesbian love scene you fucking worthless trash, it’s about telling little girls that they CAN ESCAPE an abusive relationship.
For fucks sakes, I’ve never been so anti-biggot in my life until right now.

I love all of these comments so much.

vermilliontrigger:

zingey:

ruf1oh-n1tram:

Remember that episode of courage the cowardly dog where a furry bunny runs away from abusive dog dude to be with her lesbian cat lover

because that is all you need to remember

This episode is actually what got Courage taken off the air because a coalition of moms thought it carried lesbian symbolism and they threatened to sue the network if the show wasn’t removed from the air.

Many people at Cartoon Network cite Courage as their favourite show during its run and say that they would not have taken it off, had they had a real choice.

So the show ran the remaining episodes and was not renewed for another season.

… Are you fucking kidding me?!Really… REALLY? THIS was why they canceled Courage? Look, I’m tolerant of any belief, but anyone who would bitch about this episode can go fucking die for all I care.

They do realize that she left a fucking abusive relationship, which takes a fucking hell of a lot of effort, to be happy. The moral of the fucking story is to be happy, and to know your worth. It’s not about a fucking lesbian love scene you fucking worthless trash, it’s about telling little girls that they CAN ESCAPE an abusive relationship.

For fucks sakes, I’ve never been so anti-biggot in my life until right now.

I love all of these comments so much.

New Changes, New Perspective~

Made some major changes to my blog today. First off, i’m focusing more on my schooling in Cosmetology and just my passion for hair. I’ve also been changing up my feed to have more positive blogs and blogs about hair itself. This is my attempts to keep my career in the forefront of my mind, as well as focusing more on being positive about things that come my way.

Also, i’m going to begin to actually blog. I’m thinking of just starting out and doing a weekly thing where I talk about hair and such, my passions, inspirations and such. I do want it to get to the point where I include a lot of what’s on my mind. But i’m also going to give it the freedom to grow and flourish how it wants to. So if I end up doing so, I’ll be blogging A LOT more on personal/professional/inspirational/positive matters. 

I’ll use this to vent and get shit off my chest. 

I just want to release my emotion and to feel not alone. 

Why not use the internet for that?

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